while on the subject of psychology
some therapy stories
A therapist friend of mine and I laughed our asses off once talking about how when clients would ask us to “wait a second, I need to write down what you just said,” rather than what some other therapists in our life would do, which was to call this a “distraction to the therapy process,” we would think, that’s right, you should definitely write that down ‘cuz damn, that was good.
There was a professional elder who was exuberantly free with his praise and let me know when I had essentially arrived by shaking his head and telling me he was so impressed with me. And then he gave me the kindness of acknowledging out loud that he could tell (before I totally had) that his role in my life had come to an end. Him marking this beginning and this ending with his words was such an incredible gift.
Something I regret quite a bit is how MUCH I emphasized you being the one you’re looking for. It’s true, it’s very very true, and without this connection with self life is so much more difficult. But you can get yourself painted into a corner with this approach without quite realizing it until you’re standing there alone trying to be every single thing for yourself, which you will never be able to be.
And yet, in the same breath as that regret, it was when I caught myself wishing my brilliant, brilliant therapist would do therapy with me just a little bit more like how I was doing therapy with my clients that I knew I had finally gotten what I needed from the one bajillion therapy sessions I had faithfully, doggedly shown up for. It was me. I got me back.